my name is perfect for porn

month

February 2011

today i was eating lunch in a very public place, and at the table next to me was a father and his son, who looked to be about 10-12 years old. because i’m awesome and things of that nature, i was totally eavesdropping on their conversation. at first it was just the usual father-son esque talk, but just as i was starting to lose interest/get a life, i hit pay-dirt. the father had decided that...

January 2011

Stand With Brenda →

jon and the awkward date

here’s a fun awkward date story for you, because i’m not leaving here for another hour and the house is too clean to…..clean. so enjoy there was a total douchebag in my english class last semester. the douchebag in question (Mike) is a total asshole, but unfortunately for me, has an australian accent and looks like this which makes things difficult. I ran into Mike on campus...

so much want. soooo much want →

hedgehog shirts are the best!

is there a proper way

to ask one of your classmates not to masturbate next to you? not that i have anything against masturbation, quite the contrary, but it’s really hard to read when you’re “itching” your pants for like 10 minutes. maybe at least be quiet? or something…..yeah……ok

first day as a twenty year old: woke up at 5. swore and went back to sleep woke up at 7. went to class. fell asleep flirted hardcore with a super hot aussie. went to math and fell back asleep more school. then more school overall, i think this day has been a success. huzzah for lazy birthdays!

random advice for the night, then i’m done for the day. here’s something my friend taught me in Belize: How to Get Rid of Your Gag Reflex Here’s you: you are sad, likely because your uvula is sensitive and doesn’t like to be bothered. easily fixed! Step 1 (there are only three steps, so now worries, it’s simple!) put your thumb in the palm of your hand Step...

i was going to branch out and try something new tonight, but then i looked in the cupboard and saw that we had a copious amount of noodles just sitting there waiting to be eaten. who am i to deny my stomach some spaghetti? so happy

tomorrow is my last day as a teenager. i would be more reflective, but i’m not really super stoked about it. i feel like once you turn 20 people expect you to take everything in life more seriously. i don’t want to do that yet :| cause being serious makes my eyes look uneven

i woke up at 4am again this morning with nothing to do, so i made a playlist of epic music, the kind of music that you can only sing at the top of your lungs. so i’ve been waiting for everyone to leave so i can hook up my stereo to the intercom system in my house, then blast it through every room and scare the shit out of my cats. i’m really going to enjoy not having friday classes...

glenn beck scares the shit out of me

end of story. if i woke up and saw him in my room i’d piss myself

sorry, it’s really long and drawn out, but here’s my Egypt trip, super condensed and not really informative. also it’s shaky, so bear with me :)

shut-thef666up-deactivated20111 asked: no way.
climbing is da bomb yo.
LOL. xD

spounder asked: BAHAHA, i followed a a reblog of your gif and found YOU lol btw it's Sean

Anonymous asked: Yay! you're back! i hope you enjoyed your trip!

it’s been brought to my attention that one of my lovely followers is apparently a friend of my moms, and has been keeping her posted on all things “Jon”. she (or he) must do this because there is apparently a lot on here that my mom should be concerned about, so just to clear things up, i thought i’d air some fun stuff i smoke weed and i looooove it and i’ve done it...

hey there. i’m back. egypt was AMAZING but i’m jetlagged to the highest degree so i’ll talk about that later. also, i changed the name of this 1) because i had no idea what the first name meant and 2) because that’s apparently the way you console a sad child in an airport. i’m so out of it it’s foggy here

Egypt Itinerary

just in case you’re that interested. i’m done packing and my flight doesn’t leave for a few hours so, yeah. shazam! Day 1 - Fly for about an hour. then continue flying for another 23 hours. tell yourself Egypt will be worth it at least 5 times every 15 minutes and annoy the other passengers around you Day 2 - Arrive in Cairo. Kiss the ground because you missed it so much and...

Anonymous asked: you're welcome^_^

neeeche-deactivated20110316 asked: You are completely adorable. You sound so prissy and I love your expressions. So cute. More power to vlogging :3

waiting for over an hour at the DMV? not so fun having the girl behind me sigh loudly and have that sigh go down the back of my shirt every time her number wasn’t called? not so fun sitting next to an insanely attractive guy who just moved here from Australia? AWESOME

Anonymous asked: you're welcome^_^

neeeche-deactivated20110316 asked: You are completely adorable. You sound so prissy and I love your expressions. So cute. More power to vlogging :3

Anonymous asked: Your smile is adorable which means you're like really cute. Your vids brighten up my mood, so i though i'd brighten your mood with this compliment :) Sorry this isn't a question.(:

Anonymous asked: Your smile is adorable which means you're like really cute. Your vids brighten up my mood, so i though i'd brighten your mood with this compliment :) Sorry this isn't a question.(:

i’m going to see this in 6 days! not just see it but get all up in it!! cruisin’ down the Nile muthafuckas! i was looking at the itinerary for my trip to Egypt this morning and i’m STOKED. all kinds of stoked. my camera’s gonna be all shit jon stop taking taking pictures and i’m gonna be all fuck that egyptian history is better than crack! nbd. omgomgomgomg